stuff

It's been a while since I wrote here. I have struggled with desire and motivation for nearly a year now. I have the desire, I lack the motivation. It's not permanent. It's a phase… probably. Hopefully.

2025 was a year. The deaths stand out in my mind. The lack of outside activities is another. We didn't go camping as much, didn't paddle as much, didn't ride as much. It was a tough year.

Enough dwelling. 2026 is three days old and it's time to look forward, not backward. We need to be mindful of our past, not live in it.

For 2026 I set myself 3 goals:

1. Read 12 books.
2. Beat (not necessarily complete to 100%) 12 video games.
3. Close all three rings, every single day this year.

Of the goals, the first two are easily doable, providing I substitute motivation for drive and/or habit. The third is doable, but does not account for uncontrollable circumstances. If I have a flu that kicks my ass, I will not likely burn the 600kcal or 30 minutes of exercise or 12 hours of uprigth mobility that gets the heart rate above resting. Still, I have come close before. I usually get past flu season and well into July when things fall apart. This summer year I need to detach motivation. Motivation doesn't always work because life gets in the way. Plus, I already finished my first book. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.

I didn't recall the events of the book as I was reading it, the movie version stood out more. They made a lot of changes for the film and I'm not entirely sure why, nor do I have any desire to find out. I did find myself being frustrated with all the exposition and filler in the book. I believe it was written for a younger audience, whom may not know what a vinyl record is. Though I'm not sure thatv was it either. Perhaps the book might have been a short story if they assuemed the reader could do independent research. Perhaps Ernest had a word quota to fill. Perhaps all the references would have been lost on others who are not as familiar. I would recommned the book to everyone who is the least bit nostalgic for the 80's. Despite my grievances, it was entertaining. The book was also way better than the awesome movie.

I have a couple of pairs of jeans that fit pretty snug. I used to get teased about it and I was self conscious about that. I kind of still am a bit self conscious. I had a red pair that seemed to draw a lot of attention. I really liked them, and I received some compliments while wearing them. I also got some comments. I think the combination of the pair being both bright red and slim was the motivation. I did part with them some 5 years ago, though I cannot recall why.

Last night Beth sent me this article which is a quick read. She then asked if I had read the linked article and after some clarification, she sent me this other article. Suddenly something became quite clear. I have experienced a torsioned testicle a long time ago when I first started wearing skinny jeans. When I first exprienced it, I wasn't wearing toght fitting jeans as I was at work and a more relaxed fit was required for mobility in that job. I experienced it again in the hospital when I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my intenstines. I commented to the doctor that my testicle may be torsioned and I was flatly told "you'd be screaming in pain if that were the case." He did not know that I have a fairly high tolerance for pain. I was wearing a hospital gown and no undies so skinny jeans weren't the cause here either. I've had a couple of further experiences with torsion in the years since, though they are pretty mild comparatively.

I had not experienced this before wearing skinny jeans and I'm now thinking that it's a good idea to replace the couple of pairs I still own with more relaxed fit jeans. I like the feel of skinny jeans on my legs, though testicle torsion is really something I would happily avoid going forward.

I was reading an article this morning. As I was reading the following passage I had a memory about a conversion with a previous boss some 20 years ago.

Thus, as Mark Atwood, an open source policy expert, pointed out on Twitter, he had to keep telling Amazon to not do things that would mess up FFmpeg because, he had to keep explaining to his bosses that “They are not a vendor, there is no NDA, we have no leverage, your VP has refused to help fund them, and they could kill three major product lines tomorrow with an email. So, stop, and listen to me … ”

I had found some open source software that I wanted to use and could not convince my boss it was a good idea. I now have the thought that he might have foreseen an issue where the company relied heavily on the software that was no longer maintained and could not be updated without significant cost.

As we barrel forward through technology, issues brought forth as indicated in the article cause me to pause. What systems do I use now that rely on the kindness of strangers whom are maintaing their projects out of passion? What if that passion fades? We're already seeing this in video games. Some publishers decided to make their cames function only online and as new games come out, the servers that power this game gets used less. This causes them to shut it down due to costs to maintain. They game you paid $80 for 5 years ago is now useless, save as a coaster (if it's a disc) or a curiosity. Meanwhile we have games that are literally 40 years old that run just fine (as long as you have the original hardware in good working order and your TV has the requisite interface to dispaly the video signal from the hardware). Still, not-so-old TVs have the ports, and most of the vintage consoles I own still function just fine.

I used to claim that I had technolust. Now I'm older, perhaps a little wiser. I still like new tech and get excited about the possibilites afforded by ever advancing technology. I think Open Source software is awesome and will continue to use it. I am grateful for the authors and maintainers who keep that software running. I wonder if maybe it's advancing too quickly.

For a topic I am sick of I seem to come across it a lot. XDA reports that the DRAM and NAND prices are spiking and they don't trust the industry's reasons for it. RAM and SSD prices have dramatically increased and the common discourse seems to be the collossal needs of AI. AI is already thirsty and using up energy and water at a scale that is unsustainable and reports of OpenAI buring through cash and losses that could solve world hunger problems seem like we (as a poeple) are making decisions that actively go against our best interests and longevity.

There is good news though. Some awesome people have created a learning tool that helps everyone learn to spot AI. This is a great idea and I am going to have my kids go through this game with me and hopefully we can all improve our critical thinking skills.

A few days ago there was a thread on X, as reported by PC Gamer about Tim Sweeny (of Epic fame) calling for the removal of an AI reporting tool in digital storefront. This is a bad idea and I would like more places online (and in real life) notify users (and customers) that AI was used to create the product. I already shy away from obvious (to me) AI generated products and I don't like using AI powered services.

As someone who is not atristically talented, I like the idea that I can get art (and story or descriptions) generated quickly for my D&D setting. I am tempted though. If I had the time, I would draw more and get better so that I can have the art and write more so that I can have the story. Not onluy does this build better skills, it's all human generated. Sadly free time is not something I have a plethora of due to my inability to say no.